I used to be that innocent girl who had the world at her feet. I was beautiful and I had eyes and hips that could make men sway, and to top it up I was a Christian, a very good Christian with a heart burning for God.
When I entered the University, I met a guy,his name was Charles. I couldn’t believe my luck the first time I bumped into him on my way to class, he had such a kind smile and a tender look that weakened my knees when he spoke.
Because I was late for class we couldn’t talk much but barely one month later, I met him at fresher’s night party and I was overwhelmed. We got talking and I found out that he was in his second year and from that night we became an inseparable pair.
At first,we were friends and as month passed by we got closer. About a year after, I and Charles started dating. He was everything a girl could ever want and desire save the fact that he wasn’t so much of a Christian. He had magical hands that made me hard to resist most times I fell for it.
At first, I felt bad but when I couldn’t help falling into the same out I killed the guilt on my inside. Then one day one of my friends said I was getting fatter and that got me thinking and in the process I began to link the dots..
First I had a morning vomiting spree every morning which I thought was due to a flu and then I had this morning sickness and then my missing period. “it can’t be possible ” I said to myself.
After series of test. I realized that I was indeed pregnant. I was only eighteen, I still had a whole life ahead of me, I couldn’t tell my parents, they wouldn’t want to hear such. I told Charles.
On telling him, I saw him flying into a temper. I have never seen in my life. He was so hysterical, calling me all sorts of names and I didn’t even know when I started crying heart drenching tears of hurts and betrayal.
He looked at me and realized how scared and hurt I was and so he pulled me close and calmed me down then whispered to me “why don’t you have abortion “.
I pulled back instantly. I couldn’t have an abortion. When he talked about my parents and sanctioning from the fellowship which I belonged to, I knew I had no other choice.
Charles had made all the arrangement and so on the supposed day we went to room-like clinic. I shivered all through the way but he kept assuring me things will be fine, that he was proud that I made a such a brave decision.
When I entered into the room where the abortion was supposed to take place I laid down on the table trying to dissociate my mind from what i was about to do and the young man told me “you know I can’t perform this procedure with your underwear “then I began to pull off.
As I did this a sense of guilt overwhelmed me, first I had pulled off my underwear for pleasure and now I was pulling it off to get rid of the stigma, the pleasure had brought shame.
All through the times that I felt instruments coming in and out of me. I kept thinking of the lady I had become and the hypocrite I had transformed into…. And then I felt a sharp pain pierce through the whole of my body, I screamed but then the doctor told me to be quiet, I kept biting my lip and then the pain began to come in successions. I instinctively knew was wrong was wrong but I was too weak to talk or move.
The pain was so unbearable and I could feel myself getting week. With the last strength in me, I pleaded with God “Oh Lord I’m so sorry for taking my under wears off, please forgive me”.